Resolving Division Of Labor Disagreements For Couples Who Live Together
First, address ways each partner can understand self and other as it relates to this topic: 1. Each make a list of who did these tasks in family-of-origin (or maybe someone was hired to do them): a. laundry b. grocery-shopping c. loading and unloading the dishwasher (or washing the dishes by hand) d. making the bed e. cleaning the … [Read more...]
Mother’s Day Thoughts
What most mothers want from their children is a showing of affection. A nice extra is an expression of appreciation. But most children take their mothers for granted. It’s just expected by them that parents supply needs and wants to their children. So all that immense time, effort, money, and sacrifice is something a mother rarely gets a ‘thank … [Read more...]
Suggestions For Couple Disagreements
Communication between couples vs arguments If you and/or your partner feel your frustration rising request a “time out” by saying something like, “I need to take 5 minutes off (or 10 minutes, if you prefer) so we can calm down” During the “time out” both should take a few deep, slow breaths, letting them out completely. While apart attempt … [Read more...]
Perfectionism — Sometimes a Problem for You or Someone Else You Know?
Do you, and maybe others, consider you a perfectionist, and does it sometimes cause you difficulties? Maybe someone else’s perfectionism is a problem for you (and, perhaps for themselves)? If you’re a brain surgeon please keep being perfectionistic about your work! But, some of us have had experiences where this trait has stood in the way of … [Read more...]
Some Thoughts on Men’s Mental Health
International Men's Day took place on November 19 this year -- but I think the topic of men's mental health is worth talking about all year round. Men are not all cut from one cloth. They vary enormously but one thing I’ve noticed in my practice is that most of the troubled ones who come in for counseling are ones who received a faulty message … [Read more...]
Unless You’re Perfect Should You Expect a Perfect Romantic Partner?
Most people, whether they know it or not expect their partner-in-love to be: The perfect parent of the opposite gender from themselves who they've conjured up in their imagination. (Pick the one that fits.) (Dad who makes them feel safe and cared for, ALWAYS listens attentively, gives them everything they want --- most likely not what your … [Read more...]
How Much Worrying is Healthy?
Worrying is a part of being human but sometimes it is overwhelming and paralyzes us. Here are some typical examples of why people worry: We can't help worrying about our health or the health of a loved one when the doctor has informed us that this is a serious condition. If our finances have been plunging and we have vital things we must … [Read more...]
Self-Help Suggestions For Anxiety and Depression
Most people already know about what is written below but at times may forget. These reminders are helpful for both anxiety AND depression. 1. Deep-breathing-a few deep, slow breaths 2. Relaxation apps on your phone - some are waves on the seashore or rain on the roof, some are progressive relaxation (“Your feet are getting heavy; your legs are … [Read more...]
Be Your Own Therapist- The Aunt Nellie Syndrome
Have you ever felt suddenly cheerful without knowing why? Or, perhaps you have become sad, felt a cloud over you, and the feelings seemed unexplainable. This could have happened because of what I call "The Aunt Nellie Syndrome" which has to do with your 5 senses and memory. You see, emotions can often be affected by the past when "Aunt Nellie" … [Read more...]
Can Patience Be Learned?
Is someone you know an “instant gratification” person? Are you? What I mean by this is that some people have “short fuses.” When things don’t go their way they show irritation immediately. They have little patience with the unexpected or with being unsatisfied. They “want what they “want when they want it.” This can be unpleasant for those … [Read more...]